Wednesday, December 16, 2015

Day 1476 - Star Wars Spoiler Etiquette

There are a number of people who are going to Star Wars: The Force Awakens this weekend, and because some of them have a life, they won't be seeing it until as late as Sunday.  (I'm seeing it Thursday - I don't have a life.)  In order to help those people who won't be seeing it until a little later, I have devised this handy dandy little blog to help those of us who have seen the movie not ruin it for those who haven't seen it yet.  These should all apply until 11:59 Sunday evening.  After that, all bets are off and you're on your own.

1. No spoilers at all.  Nothing big, nothing small, nothing like "Could you believe it when Batman showed up?!?"  Full credit to where it's due - my "friend" David Hansen posted this - "Dudes!  Just knowing it's good is a spoiler."  Truer words have never been spoken.

2. Watch what you "like."  This is for Facebook users only.  Facebook is the devil.  You'll be innocently scrolling along only to have Facebook tell you that one of your friends "liked" this article where the headline is "Can you believe that Chewbacca and R2D2 had a baby?"  It doesn't matter if it's true or not.  You didn't want to go into the movie waiting for that plot point to rear its ugly head.  So, at least until Sunday night, maybe don't "like" any Star Wars posts at all.

3.  I know nothing about Twitter, so somebody can make their own etiquette guide for that.  That being said - no spoilers on Twitter.

4. Be understanding.  And polite.

5.  I know you're going to be excited when you leave the movie and are going to want to write something, anything about it.  Just remember to temper yourself.  I'm thinking a post filled with all adjectives describing the movie, not the scenes, should be fine.  Amazing, awesome, spectacular, fantastic - all acceptable words, mostly because you could also be describing that last meal you had.

6.  However, in this case, the opposite is true.  We don't want to see any posts about how you didn't like the movie.  Or were indifferent to it.  We're excited. Don't bring us down, man.  If the movie turns out to be the second coming of The Phantom Menace we'll know soon enough.  (please, please, please don't be the second coming of The Phantom Menace.)  We don't need your snark.

7.  Watch where you are.  I can't even imagine people in line outside of The Empire Strikes Back having to deal with those who came out of the previous showing saying, "Can you believe that Darth Vader was Luke Skywalker's father?"  Heck, before having a conversation about the movie, ask around if it's okay to talk about it in detail.  Some people legitimately don't care.  (Those people are the crazy ones.)  But for those that do, politeness and respect go a long way.

8. Don't be that person who tells someone who hasn't seen it - "I know you haven't seen it, and this doesn't spoil anything, but it was amazing when Batman gave his lightsaber to Han Solo."  You're spoiling something.  It's not hard.  Just don't talk to that person about the movie.

9. Remember - these (arbitrary) rules are only in effect for four days.  On Monday, let the floodgates open.  If you haven't seen it by then, and were planning to, it might be best to get off all social media until you do see it.

The Force will be with you.  Always.